does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
