you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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