i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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