Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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