i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
