every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
