you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
