is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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