You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
