she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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