O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
