Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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