God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
MIDGETS
????
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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