Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
