How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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