It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize