You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
