How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!