We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?