of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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