Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
