i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
