something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
All I want is dick and wine.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
