Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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