White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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