i was born a porn star she said
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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