I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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