Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just found puke in my bra..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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