Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
