Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
