you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize