3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
