I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
