she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
smell my finger.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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