I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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