Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
