He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i think i have two assholes
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
