She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
