my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
