I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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