You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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