the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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