Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
