God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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