nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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