Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i believe in u and ur pee
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
