ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
