im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
