the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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