belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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