Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my being single is dangerous.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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