note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
