I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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