i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
