Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
