I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize