Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
