I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
