I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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