I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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