4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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