i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
