He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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