Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
